I am little bit confused and i need your help. there's a guy in my school whom i love so much. he is in a different class than me. i really love him. but i don't know whether he loves me or not. he stands outside my class door most of the time and its seems to me like he's trying to attract me. he does stupid things as if he's trying to be over smart whenever he's near me. and i think he knows that i love him. but we have never talked with each other. is there any way other way than asking him to know what he feels for me or whether he likes me or not. Tenzin
It definitely sounds like you have a major crush on this boy. Maybe you think he's cute, funny, and nice. A crush is different than love, though. Love develops after you get to know someone and you realize you both respect and care for one another. You have such strong feelings for him, so it probably feels like love. I totally understand. The first step is talking to him. You don't have to ask him if he likes you because that's scary. Instead, try asking him about school work, talk about music or find out if he is going to the basketball game. Pretend you are talking to a friend to help yourself stay calm. Take some deep breaths and just be yourself. Let him get to know you and most importantly, you need to get to know him. Best of luck!
In my society the girls are very shy and we don't usually speak up to the boys. it's totally different from the western countries. i am really very shy to go and talk to him(the boy about whom i wrote earlier). and i know he will not do that either. moreover i am really not pretty or attractive and he's too good looking but most of the girls don't think my way. the only thing that i am able to do at the time is just watch him from my class. i can't even go and ask him about home works or anything because we are in totally different classes. i really love him and i want him in my life. i want him to realize that i really love him. i need your help. please do help. i am hopeless. if i go and tell him then i will be in the news next day and people will make fun of me. i just don't know what i can do...please help me. Tenzin
Hi again Tenzin,
Thanks for writing back and explaining your situation better. I think your story will help Western girls learn that every cultures' norms(what is considered normal) are different. You have said that you are "shy, do not think you are pretty and feel he is too good looking". These negative (bad) thoughts effect how you feel about yourself. I would love for you to start by working on building your confidence. Make a list of what traits, qualities, and talents make you special. Write everything down that comes to mind, even if it seems small. If you're having trouble, ask yourself these questions. "Am I good daughter, student or friend?" "What do I enjoy doing or what am I good at?" If you're still having trouble, ask your friends and family members what they like about you. My list would say, "I'm creative, a great listener and devoted friend". Please send me your list to share and inspire other girls. Read your list everyday to remind yourself how wonderful you are! I think once you begin to believe in yourself, you may feel less shy and more comfortable talking to your crush. If the thought of approaching him stil makes you feel weak in the knees, try writing him a note. If you never tell him how you feel, he'll never know. It's scary to take risks, but it might be worth the jump. :) Keep me posted!