Here is a Q&A from our partners at Fitsmi.
QUESTION: “So, I have a best friend and I don’t know how I’d get through high school without her. But she just won’t stop with the fat talk. She keeps making mean comments about herself and other girls in our class, even though they’re the same size as me. Lately I’ve been trying hard to eat better, and exercise, and to be more confident about myself, you know? But it’s not easy, especially because her comments are really starting to get me down. Is there anything I can do to get the fat talk to stop (and not mess up our friendship in the process)?”
ANSWER: When your bff won’t stop with the body trash talking (whether she’s talking about her own body or someone else’s), it can sure put you in an uncomfortable position. So let’s break it down.
When we struggle with our self-confidence, we sometimes turn to fat talking as a way to make ourselves feel better. Complaining about our thighs, or making fun of someone else’s, usually just means we’re hoping for a kind word from a pal. But here’s the thing, while fat talk may make us feel better for a few minutes, we just end up feeling worse in the end.
It sounds as though your bud might be suffering from some low-self esteem. And lucky for you, as her best friend, you’re in a position to help her out (and to get the fat-talking to stop). Here are a few tips to help turn the situation around:
1. Be a role model for your friend.
It sounds like you already have this self-confidence thing pretty figured out (you go girl!) — so just let your colors shine through. When your pal says a comment that makes you cringe, like “Oooh, she looks so fat in those pants” or “She shouldn’t have worn THAT until she lost some weight”, pause and say “But I love her new glasses” or “Have you listened to her sing in choir? She has an incredible voice.” Be proactive about filling your conversations with positive words and encouragements for yourself, your friend, and your classmates. Cheesy? Maybe, but also very powerful!
2. Invite your bud to tag along the next time you exercise.
You probably know from experience that working out isn’t just good for your body, it’s good for your brain too! Girls who work out feel more confident and better about themselves – just the type of positive boost your friend might need.
3. Be honest with her.
She’s your bff, right? Start by telling her how you’ve begun to make healthy changes in your life, including eating better, working out, and staying positive! Then, tell her you have decided to cut out the fat-talk for good, and ask her to join you!
It may take time for your friend to get used to a fat-talk-free lifestyle, so be supportive, but stick to your guns! She’ll come around – especially since fat-talk isn’t nearly as fun when you’re the only one doing it.
Q&A from Fitsmi.com