All of this quietly squishes a person's dreams and goals deeper and deeper down inside of her until she is no longer sure of who she is, AND now she needs other people to tell her.

Do you know who IS the real you, and can you be her?

1. Your friend gives you a new shirt for your birthday. Unfortunately, it is as ugly as a shirt can get. You:

    Wear it once or twice around the friend and then banish it to the bottom drawer forever.
    Thank her for her thoughtfulness, tell her it is not quite your style, and ask her if she would like to go out shopping with you to make the exchange.

2. Its Saturday morning and the doorbell rings. One of your buddies has decided to pop in, and you're dressed in your finest Froot Loops stained-pajamas and a mud mask. Your reaction:

    Invite her in and offer her a bowl of cereal or a facial.
    Use the mud mask as a disguise, pretend that you're actually your mother, and say that you're out.

3. You have just been made the butt of a very nasty joke while walking down the hall to class. You decide to:

    Keep on walking, offering no reaction whatsoever.
    Confront the so-called comedian tell her/him that if you're going to be part of the routine, you deserve royalties.

4. You have been feeling really depressed lately, and people are beginning to notice it. When they ask how you are, you answer:

    Nothing's wrong, I just haven't been getting any sleep lately.
    I'm having a bad week. Do you mind if I talk to you about it?

5. One week after you and your boyfriend break up, your best friend calls and says that she and your ex might be starting up something. You tell her:

    That you're really uncomfortable about the arrangement -- especially so soon after your relationship ended.
    That you're so over him and she can do whatever the heck she wants.

6. While out shopping with your friends, you find the perfect skirt, but a friend just bought one like it. When she pitches a fit because, "We both can't have the same thing," you:

    Inform her that it is just a skirt -- not the end of the world -- and get it anyway.
    Immediately return the skirt to the rack and look for something else.

7. On Monday morning you find out that there was a big party last Saturday at so-and-so's house – and you were one of the few people not invited. Every time someone asks why you weren't there, you say:

    I didn't feel like going out that night.
    I was not invited.

8. A friend waltzes into class with the goofiest haircut you have ever seen on a human being. You:

    Find the nicest way possible to say that you have seen more flattering styles on her.
    Swallow your surprise and compliment her on the 'do.

9. When you're at a party where you don't know a lot of people, you:

    Try to be as relaxed and as much like yourself as possible.
    Carefully measure every word that comes out of your mouth and plan every move you make.

10. People often compliment you for being funny. Whenever you hear this, you think:

    But I don't feel like I'm funny.
    I'm glad someone else thinks I'm as funny as I do!

11. After giving your best at the audition for the school play, you find out that someone else got the part you wanted. You:

    Admit that you're a little disappointed, but congratulate her in earnest.
    Throw your arms around her and gush, "Oh, I'm SO happy for you!"

12. You're at a party where everyone is underage and everyone is drinking lots of alcohol. You're not comfortable with the situation, and when people start pressuring you to drink, you:

    Go ahead and have one.
    Firmly but politely turn the offer down.

13. A friend shouts across the entire store that she found the perfect dress for you, and wants to know what size you are. You shout back:

    A number that is two sizes smaller than you are.
    Your size.

14. You recently got your nose pierced, and now realize that you don't like it – even though your friends think it's pretty cool. You decide to:

    Take it out.
    Leave it in and get used to it.