Are You Boy-Crazy?

Find out if your cranium is crawling with boys.

By Maggie Gusman

Here at Girl Zone we would like to inform our readers about a problem affecting millions of young women everywhere. According to the Really Important Institute of Scientific Research, scientists have just released new information on an illness called Male-Obsessive Cranialosis. This disease, more commonly referred to as Boy-Crazy, is a frequent side-effect of being a young woman today.

Doctors note that this problem often weakens a female's sense of individuality; therefore, a boy-crazy girl is susceptible to other opportunistic illnesses such as negative peer-pressure and low self-esteem. Early-stage symptoms include a constant preoccupation with what the opposite sex thinks of you, a need to be attached to or in pursuit of a male at all times, sacrificing time with girlfriends to keep male company, and constant alteration and upkeep of physical appearance in order to attract males. More advanced stages find girls engaging in risky behaviors like eating disorders, drinking, drug-taking or unprotected sex.

As of right now, there is no known cure, but medical researchers have developed a trial vaccine called the Cootie Shot which has been effective in reducing Male-Obsessive Cranialosis in the test population. Many hope that this, in combination with preventative education, will help young women everywhere understand that they do not need a boy to be themselves.

The Health Service of Girl Zone strongly urges you to take this test to see if you are at risk for Male-Obsessive Cranialosis. If you, or anyone you know, might be suffering from this problem, please see the end of this quiz for treatment options.