Loneliness

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Loneliness

Dear GZ Advisor, 

I feel so alone. I feel like nobody in my family loves me except one or two people, i cry all the time because i feel so lonely. At school I look very Happy , but its just that I don't want none of my friends to know because its embarrasing. What should i do? Galilea

Dear Galilea,

First of all, I'm sorry; no one should ever have to feel like that. Because the reality of the situation is is that no one is alone.

Having a rough family life can definitely take a toll on your wellbeing, but I'm sure that your family does love you, even if they express it in a way that makes you unsure.

I think you'd be surprised to find out how many people feel the same way that you do.  A lot of people feel lonely or immensely sad and cover it up with a smile.  You don't always have to be happy.  I hope you know that's okay to not be okay, and to need help.  That being said you should see if there's someone you are especially close to out of your friends - someone who you really feel safe with and that you can trust.  Opening up and confiding in a friend about the loneliness you feel can be a start to make you feel better because you are sharing your pain and reaching out for a helping hand.  Sometimes feeling this kind of pain is something you want to keep private from most people, however there could be one person who understands and will listen - and that you won't be embarrassed to talk about it with.
 
Some people who are affected with physical conditions can have that affect emotions (such as depression) so checking in with a doctor might be a good idea; either to rule out that possibility or get help as needed.

If there isn't a friend at school who you would feel like you could talk to this about you might want to talk to your school guidance counselor or parents about going to therapy.  Going to therapy isn't anything to be embarrassed about, and it doesn't mean you have intense problems. Think of it as someone to talk to. someone who will listen to how you feel and understand and try to help.

I hope you start feeling better and this helps.  No one is alone.

Sincerely,
GZ Advisor

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Dear GZ Advisor,
i just moved and now it seemes that no1 understands me or likes anything i do. i really am used to having friends and now its like no one likes me and links im stupid, ugly, and boring. do u think i  am exajeratting? i really want friends right now is the"tough times". can u help me
 
From Kasandra

Dear Kasandra,

Moving is always a really tough thing, especially when it comes to readjusting and making new friends.  Sometimes, though, you're your own worst critic and you feel as though people are judging you and thinking bad things about it when they really may not be.  The best thing to do is to join some clubs, maybe a sports team, something that you're interested in that will put you around other people who clearly like the same things as you so you'll have something to talk about.  Also, every so often in class you should raise your hand and speak up so that people will recognize who you are and start to notice you more if you think that's an issue.  Finding friends after a big move is tough, and it's a process - just be patient and you'll find some people who are just like you!

Sincerely,
GZ Advisor 

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Dear GZ Advisor

I dont know how to say this but I made a couple of friends at the beginning of the school year but a conflict came in between us and we havent seen each other since. the conficlt is now gone and sometimes i feel like i wanna hang out with them again because i miss them and ive got no one. though i dont know if they'll want me around. i dont know what to do and i hate being alone. please help me make the right decision. thank you.  Xena


Hello Xena,

Why not be the bigger person and make the first move? Maybe ask if you can meet up to talk and apologize. You'll never know if you don't try. If they're true friends, they will be willing to forgive and move forward. If not, then I suggest you join some school clubs or sports and try to make new friends. Let me know how it goes!

GZ Advisor