. . . In the high school halls In the shopping malls Conform or be cast out . . .

. . . In the basement bars In the backs of cars Be cool or be cast out . . .

Rush -- Subdivisions

How far will you go under pressure? Is it true that you must conform to the norms of our culture or be an outcast, as the lyrics to this Rush song say? Is there a middle ground where you can make your own decisions based on your beliefs, and still be accepted and fit in with your peers?

Absolutely!

Peer pressure only works when you're insecure. And we're all insecure about something. It is natural and normal to want to fit in, be accepted, and feel like you belong with your friends. After all, your friends are the ones who listen to you, understand you, and share your experiences and feelings about everything you're going through. But, when you let your friends pressure you into doing something you don't want to, you're not being true to yourself.

Saying, No to your friends can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, because it feels like you are risking so much.

. . . You might do the wrong thing for the right reason Don't just do the right thing to be pleasing Who cares what they say Because the rules are made for breaking Who made them anyway You gotta show what you feel don't hide . . .

Spice Girls -- Do it

It takes an incredible amount of guts and self-esteem to stand up to the pressure to do something you don't think is right. When it feels like everyone you know is doing something, but you don't want to, whether it's skipping school, smoking cigarettes, or getting a belly button ring, how can you say No? Saying, No

to your friends can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, because it feels like you are risking so much. What if your friends get angry with you, or make fun of you because you say No? As long as you are polite and non-judgmental when you say No, your true friends will respect your choices and like you anyway.

In order to say No with confidence, you need to believe in your right to disagree with your friends about what is right for you. When you have self-esteem, you know what you need and you look out for yourself. It makes saying No to peer pressure easier.

Think of a two year old child. She says No to everything her parents ask her to do. (This is why they call it the terrible twos.) Saying No comes easily, as she tries to establish her independence from her parents, much like a teenager, and just as rebellious. When you were two or three years old, saying No

came naturally. But somewhere along the way as you grow up, saying No gets complicated. Maybe your need to please people and be liked gets in the way. Or maybe it's your fear of getting someone mad that makes it hard to say No even when you want to. So, when you're having a hard time saying no to peer pressure, think back, pretend you're two, and say NO with confidence.

. . . Everything I do is judged and they mostly get it wrong but oh well cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged and the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff that they say and she looks me in the eye and says would you prefer the easy way no, well ok then don't cry .

Ani DiFranco - Joyful Girl

As a teenager, you sometimes want to try something just because your parents say that you shouldn't. This is totally normal. It's part of becoming a person who is separate from your parents, who can make decisions on her own. But remember, your parents have your best interests in mind. They want you to be healthy, happy and safe. 

. . . She used to be my only enemy and never let me free Catching me in places that I know I shouldn't be I didn't mean to be so bad I never thought you would become the friend I never had . . .

Spice Girls - Mama

Peer pressure is often focused on doing things that are potentially harmful and addictive like drugs, drinking, or smoking cigarettes. Taking risks can be exciting, fun and seductive, especially when done as a bonding ritual with your friends. Deciding to do something based on your wish to belong or your fear that someone will be mad at you if you say No is no way to run your life. 

. . . But if nobody loves you And you feel like dust on An empty shelf Just remember You can love yourself

Keb Mo - You Can Love Yourself

What is the best way to assert your independence and maturity? By smoking a cigarette? Drinking a martini? Nope. If you want to prove to yourself, your parents, or your friends that you are independent and mature, then make healthy decisions, state your feelings, opinions and needs, and do what YOU want to do. Blaze your path through life according to YOUR rules. You are in charge of your life, so make healthy choices for yourself, and you will find security and acceptance within.

If you want me You can find me Left of center Off of the strip In the outskirts In the fringes In the corner Out of the grip . . .

Suzanne Vega - Left of Center

Really into song lyrics? Then check out Girl Zone's music feature, Zone Tones.

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