Ever notice how sometimes people just don't look at you when they talk to you?

Think of a cute guy, too shy to ask you to dance... he looks at the floor, sneaks a peek up at you and then flips his eyes right back to the floor.

Don't even mention how he mumbles and stutters. Maybe it's because he's oh so worried that amazing you won't say, "Yes!"

If you really want him to ask you, if you are completely jazzed by his very presence, you'll probably think his downward glances and mumbles are adorable.

BUT, if he's a loser, (at least in your opinion), you'll wonder why he doesn't SPEAK UP and you'll probably feel that he's oh-so-rude and actually a complete jerk for not looking you in the eye.

VERY INTERESTING...

The guy behavior in the two examples above is the same. It's what YOU think of the guy, your impression of him that affects how you interpret what he says to you.

Let's explore this a little further...
You are baby-sitting a little girl who you think is completely sweet AND adorable. Her brother is a little older and a total terror.

You go to the bathroom for two minutes (just to pee) and when you walk back into the living room there is a broken vase or whatever on the floor. Both kids are staring at their feet.

What would YOU do?

"What happened here?" you ask. "How did that get broken?"

They both sneak peeks up through their lashes at you, but continue to keep glancing back down to their feet.

One of them is shy and maybe afraid of you being upset and the other one is GUILTY!!!

It's impossible to tell for sure by looking, but you figure you already know anyway...

But DO you? What if you're wrong. What if the little angel broke it!!!!!?

If you don't look someone in the eyes and use words and gestures to help get across what you REALLY mean, they'll come up with their own interpretation.

Sure there are lots of times when it feels way scary to see how someone will react to what you are going to say. But isn't it worse to have someone like you or be pleased with you only to discover later that you misled them? They might be even MORE angry than if you had been direct and told the whole truth right from the beginning.

And they have every right to be upset if you don't come straight out with how you feel. If you try to sugarcoat it or make it nice.

Letting someone believe something that isn't really true is the same as lying. Check out Girl Zone's article on little white lies.

Being Authentic isn't always easy. AND there ARE people who won't like your particular way of being, but those who do, the ones that think you are GREAT, will be thinking that the REAL you is awesome. You won't have to pretend or worry that if they find out who you really are that they'll dump you like so much stinky trash.

Authentic
As in the real thing, Baby, not phony and not pretend.

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