2. I hate it when the spotlight is on me; I just know people will think I'm stupid or geeky.
It can be really hard to speak your mind. I was in a masters class for jazz and blues singers and one woman felt like she was going to throw-up when we each had to scat by ourselves to some bluesy piano music. And she is used to singing in public! The point is that almost everyone gets butterflies, even your favorite performers. So now that you know that you're not alone, do you feel better? Probably not. But you can do some things to help yourself before you speak out, while you speak out, and after you speak out. See if any of these work for you...
Talk to yourself before you talk to others. Give yourself a pep-talk. It can be as simple as "I can do it. I know I can do it." Remind yourself that it' s not going to be the end of the world if you feel a little weird or worried. Try not to have any negative thoughts, but for each one you do have, counter it with a positive thought. If you think, "They're going to thing I'm a total loser." Counter with, "I know how to say what I think without sounding stuck-up."
Learn more about talking to yourself. Take a quiz about talking to yourself.
Breathe! It sounds silly telling someone to breathe, but when we get nervous, we forget. Breathe slowly. If you hear yourself gasping between sentences you 're probably holding your breath. Thinking about and noticing breathing can really help to keep you calm. Check out this site for some Yoga breathing techniques to practice at home.
Find a friendly face (and have one yourself). As you talk let your eyes roam from one listener's face to the next. When you find a friendly one stay there just a little longer and return to it again before you scan the faces once more. Keep repeating while you're talking. Meanwhile, keep YOUR face friendly. Sometimes when you are nervous or unsure your face can look stuck-up or overly intense. Check yours out in a mirror practice session and try relaxing your facial muscles and looking human!
Use your imagination to make yourself laugh not to make yourself frantic. Once you've said whatever you wanted to say continue to counter any negative thoughts with positive ones. If you imagine the worst from people's reactions, for example assuming that silence means they think you are ridiculous or insane, counter that thought with a little humor and think... "At least they're not asking me to leave. Come to think of it, at least they haven't left!" Remind yourself that you are still alive and that next time will probably be easier. Use breathing and slow face scanning to calm yourself down. Good luck speaking out!
Scat
Singing nonsense syllables like "shoo doo wah" and "bee bop"
as you play with your voice and use it like an instrument. The words aren't
supposed to mean anything.
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