sweeties: Don't say, "I wish you were the kind of guy who." Talk about WHAT happened, not about WHO your sweetie is.
sweeties: The guys (or girls we love) can be pretty fragile. Show your sweetie that you really DO want to understand their point of view. Let them say their piece. Try not to look like you are ready to break up! Then ask them to listen just as respectfully to what you have to say.
sweeties: Your guy (or girl) may feel attacked or scared of losing you if they think you are angry. Find out what's going on for them too. Don't try to just bulldoze out what you don't want in the relationship.
sweeties: If you lay the blame on heavy, your sweetie will start bringing up all of YOUR bad traits. Instead of telling him (or her) what's wrong about what they did, ask a few questions. Go for clarity. And DON'T act like you already know the answer!
sweeties: Your sweetie isn't going to believe that you love or care for him (or her) if you lie about other stuff. He might start shopping around for someone he can trust.
sweeties: Friendship is about trust. Love is even MORE about trust. I don't know about you, but I don't trust people who try to scare me or bully me.
sweeties: Don't be part of an abusive cycle. Don't start one. You don't want that kind of relationship. It's not healthy. It's not safe.
sweeties: If you threaten to walk out on your sweetie, to break up, he or she might just say, "Okay, fine. I don't want to be with you anymore either!" If you have to resort to threats - something is wrong. Stop and find out what it is.
sweeties: You did what you did. They know it. You know it. You are allowed to say why you did it. You are not allowed to say why it was okay when you know it wasn't. That's the difference between an excuse and an explanation.
sweeties: Lots of times with sweeties, we get worried that if we don't fix what's wrong NOW that the relationship will die. You can kill a relationship by trying to force things. Go slow. If you need a break or if your sweetie does, suggest a good way to take one. Go for a walk and agree to not talk until you get to a certain place - the park, a tree, or wherever.
sweeties: If you expect your sweetie to keep his (or her) word, you better keep yours. If you are serious about trying to find a good way to be together you better do more than just talk. Believe it, actions DO speak louder than words.