friends: Don't bring up other stuff that bugs you about your friend that you have been silently upset about. Stick to today's problem. Talk about other stuff another time.
friends: Keep in mind that you may have misunderstood something. Listen really carefully to find out what your friend is seeing and feeling. Don't assume they're guilty!
friends: Usually when we feel that a friend has wronged us, that friend either honestly doesn't get that she did anything mean or she thinks YOU are being mean. People can't apologize for what they don't understand. If YOU come across angry and aren't willing to hear how your friend is feeling, she's bound to get defensive. Realize that she is probably confused and hurt too.
friends: Don't try to make it all your friend's fault. Even if she really was the bad guy, realize that you may have contributed to the situation by over-reacting or misunderstanding her true intentions.
friends: Friends don't lie to friends. Period. No exceptions.
friends: Friendships should be equal. No one person should ever be in charge. Make sure you and your friends agree or agree to disagree about whatever comes up. Then move on. Start over as if nothing happened.
friends: Friends should be the people that help you when OTHER people get violent. Don't cross this line. It's almost impossible to go back.
friends: Friends should be able to talk things out without resorting to name-calling. Hopefully, friends help each other to feel safe enough to tell each other their biggest fears and worries. You can't do that with someone you can't trust to treat you respectfully.
friends: You did what you did. They know it. You know it. You are allowed to say why you did it. You are not allowed to say why it was okay when you know it wasn't. That's the difference between an excuse and an explanation.
friends: Suggest that you each take 10 cleansing breaths or that you sing a stupid song together - whatever it takes to calm you both down. Try a little humor; it might help. Just make sure your friend knows that you DO want to get-it-together and talk again in a minute or two.
friends: An agreement is a chance to have a new start in your friendship. Don't blow it! Keep your word. Starting over isn't any good if you get each other upset again.