disarm

To render the bomb harmless by making it stop ticking towards explosion -- kind of turning the bomb off

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feel HORRIBLE

But, don't feel that YOU did NOTHING wrong just because someone explodes when they shouldn't. Even though it's THEIR explosion, you might have done a little something not so cool!

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walking on eggshells

In other words... one WRONG MOVE and there will be an explosion! This expression means that you feel nervous and anxious that each step you take may make an eggshell break.

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People REALLY DO say things that they DON'T mean when they are angry!

Remember that the blast is MOSTLY NOT about you. Your parent, friend, or crush probably cares for you BIG TIME, but is caught up in their own stuff. Don't assume that they really mean what they are saying!

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Even if someone EXPLODES at you -- you CAN still choose another way to communicate.

Choose to speak softly, talk calmly, or write your thoughts down and give them to the exploder later when they are calmer.

Be sure that YOUR words are not blaming or mean. Talk more about how YOU feel LESS about how they act. An example would be: Mom, (or Dad), I feel like you stop loving me while you're yelling at me and that maybe you don't think that I love you either. BUT, I DO love you. I'm sorry for the things that I do that upset you. Please help me to understand what those things are. Is there something that you and I can do differently so that we can talk more gently with each other?

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Some grown-ups are YOUNGER than their children (in certain ways...).

Just because someone is grown-up doesn't automatically mean that they have learned all they need to know. They can be really good at being a carpenter, an accountant, or even at saving someone's life, but they might not be very good at handling their own fears or other uncomfortable emotions yet. It takes some people a lifetime to learn to communicate without BLAMING OTHERS. Be patient with your parents (and with your friends). We're ALL on a journey through life. We need to love and care for each other BEFORE we're perfect!

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Sometimes there REALLY is not much that you can do.

If parents or friends don't hear you when you try to tell them that yelling at you over and over simply doesn't solve anything, REMEMBER that YOU are not failing. YOU are not responsible for THEIR behavior. YOU ARE responsible for YOUR own behavior. ACT THE WAY YOU WISH that they would act. It's not easy for you or for them. Just do your best. It's all anyone can ask. Even YOU.

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