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| He Says | She Says |
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The Question:
I'm 14 and in 8th grade, but there is this really cute 7th grader I want to go
out with, but my friends are making fun of me. He is my brother's friend, and he
wants me to go out with him. I'm thinking of saying, "Yes," when he
asks me out, but I'm having second thoughts. Help!!!
Signed,
Hopelessly devoted
He Says...
You would think with Valentine's Day coming right around the corner I would
condone any relationship that sets hearts fluttering. But that is incorrect in
this particular situation. Frankly, I agree whole heartedly with your friends
and I would be there right along with them in teasing you about this apparent
crush that is not only a year younger, but also the same age as your little
brother...Chew on that for a second. Now I'm sorry if I'm coming off a little
rude here, don't get me wrong, I enjoy it when people catch that love bug in the
air. I'm not that cold- hearted either to shoot down your idea so quickly. I
have a significant other and I know how easy it is to want to jump into
something when you are attracted to someone. However, I have a few things I
think you should take into account before making up your mind on this matter.
Not only is this boy a year younger than you, but on top of that he is only in
seventh grade. There may only be a year difference, but the maturity level
between an eighth grader and a seventh grader is enormous. Especially when you
consider that girls are known to mature much quicker than boys. Don't get me
wrong, dating someone younger is not a crime. In college it is completely
acceptable and even in high school under most circumstances. But let the boy
grow up first! He is way too young, and if you did start to date him think about
the way high school kids would make fun of you for dating an eighth grader.
Sorry, it's not going to work.
-Andrew
She Says...
Why are you having second thoughts? Who do you want to please -- yourself or
your friends? If you say yes, and decide to go out with this guy, your friends
will have no choice but to accept your decision. If they are unable to accept
your decision and tease you, you may realize that your friends aren't really
that good of friends to you. Friends should be able to accept you
unconditionally and want for you what makes you happy. If they do not, I
wonder what they do want. Could they be jealous of the attention you are
receiving from this guy?
It is quite common and acceptable for girls to date older guys, so why is it unacceptable to date younger guys? I think you should follow your heart and feelings. You can't tell your friends who to like and they can't tell you, but you can tell them that you need their support and request that they stop the teasing.
I suggest you give yourself permission to say yes and to stop worrying about
what other people think. No one can live your life for you; you've got to take
charge of your own life. Good luck.
Sue
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