Your Name: Geraldine

Subject: My ex-boyfriend

Hi, I am 22 years old. I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't want to have sex with him. He said I am being old fashioned and that no man will ever marry me without having sex me. I don't know what do anymore. I still love him but I don't want sex before marriage

Dear Geraldine,

Stay strong with your morals and your idea of right and wrong.  Only you will know when you're ready to have sex, and you can't let someone else determine that for you or you will not enjoy it and feel pressured.  When it's right, you'll know it's right.  Relationships that are true love don't consist of ultimatums like that - you could try talking to him and explaining that you still want to be with him but you aren't ready for that physical part of the relationship.  If he isn't okay with that, don't feel obligated to change your views if you're still not ready.

Good luck, keep your head up!  

Sincerely,

GZ Advisor 

Your Name: Juliet
Subject: makeup
Message: hello, i need advice; my mom wont let me wear eyeliner and i am almost 13, any way to persuade her?
 
  Dear Juliet,
 
Talking things out with your mom is probably the best way to resolve this issue.  You should tell her how you feel about wearing makeup, and why you feel that way, and in turn listen to how she's feeling.  Be sure that this conversation is calm and rational.  You won't get anywhere if you're yelling about how unfair it is that she's not letting you do what everyone else is doing.  Let her know that you feel like you're at that stage of maturity, and it's a way of expressing yourself.  Find out why she doesn't want you wearing eyeliner - she could have a good reason that you're unaware of.  Hopefully if you sit down and have a conversation you can reach a compromise or understanding.
 
Sincerely,
GZ Advisor 

Dear GZ Advisor

I have had trouble with friends lately. first i have a good friend then they change just like that. and they get really annoying and join the popular group. so now i feel like i'm friendless and alone all the time what should i do?

Lauren

Dear Lauren,
 
Having trouble with friends is something everyone goes through, even the popular students.  Firstly know that you're not alone.  A lot of people change, especially as they go through school and meet new people and find new interests.  Some people grow apart, and that doesn't have to be a reflection on you. 
 
If you feel like you're alone, I would encourage you to join some new after school activities and clubs.  This is a great way to meet new people, and bond with people you may not have know very well before.  This could open up a lot of new opportunities and friendships for you!
 
Sincerely,
GZ Advisor

Dear GZ Advisor, 

I feel so alone. I feel like nobody in my family loves me except one or two people, i cry all the time because i feel so lonely. At school I look very Happy , but its just that I don't want none of my friends to know because its embarrasing. What should i do?

Dear Galilea,

First of all, I'm sorry; no one should ever have to feel like that. Because the reality of the situation is is that no one is alone.

Having a rough family life can definitely take a toll on your wellbeing, but I'm sure that your family does love you, even if they express it in a way that makes you unsure.

I think you'd be surprised to find out how many people feel the same way that you do.  A lot of people feel lonely or immensely sad and cover it up with a smile.  You don't always have to be happy.  I hope you know that's okay to not be okay, and to need help.  That being said you should see if there's someone you are especially close to out of your friends - someone who you really feel safe with and that you can trust.  Opening up and confiding in a friend about the loneliness you feel can be a start to make you feel better because you are sharing your pain and reaching out for a helping hand.  Sometimes feeling this kind of pain is something you want to keep private from most people, however there could be one person who understands and will listen - and that you won't be embarrassed to talk about it with.
 
Some people who are affected with physical conditions can have that affect emotions (such as depression) so checking in with a doctor might be a good idea; either to rule out that possibility or get help as needed.

If there isn't a friend at school who you would feel like you could talk to this about you might want to talk to your school guidance counselor or parents about going to therapy.  Going to therapy isn't anything to be embarrassed about, and it doesn't mean you have intense problems. Think of it as someone to talk to. someone who will listen to how you feel and understand and try to help.

I hope you start feeling better and this helps.  No one is alone.

Sincerely,

GZ Advisor

Dear GZ Advisor,
so. im pregnant. i just found out and i told my boyfriend, i am almost positive that i want an abortion but my boyfriend who loves me is republican and wants me to keep it. what do i do? i don't want to not consider his feelings but.. i don't want this baby

Dear Kristen,

This is quite a predicament.  Firstly remember this; you are in a relationship with someone, but what happened is happening to YOUR body.  Both are factors to keep into consideration.

Talking about it with your boyfriend is good, you should be able to openly discuss it with one another because this is a huge thing that is occurring, for the both of you.  I'd encourage you to listen to him, and allow him to explain his reasoning for wanting to keep this child. In return; calmly explain to him your reasons for not wanting to have the child.  Evaluate what would happen if you did, and the IMMENSE impact it'd have on your lives. Do not shut him out of this process.

That being said - I think that the decision is ultimately yours to make.  It is your body, your process, your sacrifices, and as a result - your life that will be affected.  If you feel strongly that you are not ready to have this baby, then you aren't ready.  And that's your decision despite your boyfriend's disagreement.  Do what you want to do.

Make sure you consider what would happen if you decide to have the child and the relationship between the two of you doesn't work out. What then?

Finally I would suggest talking to someone.  Go to Planned Parenthood (if your boyfriend is willing, he could accompany you) and talk to someone there.  There are a lot of resources and help you can seek.  If your boyfriend is insistent on not being supportive of what you decide then you need to find someone who is because no one should have to go through this feeling alone.  Seek out your parents (if you feel comfortable enough sharing this with them), talk with a Guidance Counselor, or an older sibling who you have a solid trusting relationship with.
 
This is a very big decision but there are other options to consider such as having the baby and putting it up for adoption.  Make sure you look at all the possibilities and don't decide until you're ready.

You'll be okay, I know it's a lot to consider.  Just make sure you do what is best for you.

Sincerely,

GZ Advisor