Dear GZ Advisor,
I keep having this dream where I cut my wrists and die. Then while they're doing the ceremonial thing at the funeral, I wake up and I am not dead. Then I usually wake up there. The freaky thing is right now I am suicidal and I have cut my wrists before. What's going on?!
signed -- Mallory
I'm so glad you've contacted GZ Advisor! We care about you, and we also hope you take our suggestions to heart.
The most important thing for you to do right now is to get help dealing with your suicidal feelings. Please contact someone you trust (a counselor, a parent, a relative, a teacher or some other adult) who will listen and help. Although talking with someone about suicidal feelings isn't easy, it's the best way for you to start feeling better, and to see options in life. And there are MANY options open to you (although right now it may not feel that way). If you're not sure who you can talk to we've listed some resources below that will point you in the right direction.
If you're not sure how to start a conversation with a trusted adult, here are some suggestions for what to say:
"I'm feeling so down that I don't care about anything anymore. I guess I need some help."
"I'm really sad and confused about life. I wish someone would help me."
"I'm feeling really bad. I think I'm depressed. Will you help me?"
Regarding your recurring dream there are many theories about dreams to explain what they mean. I believe (as do many experts) that dreams can help us to sort through struggles in life. In your dream you don't die. Although your dream is frightening, it's also an opportunity to hear loud and clear that your life is worth living. All the more reason for you to reach out and get help for yourself. You don't have to do this alone.
Check out this site - Suicide.org
Call the Suicide Hotline 1n the U.S., 1-800-273-8255
From -- GZ Advisor
Bev Cobain's book, When Nothing Matters Anymore is an absolute must-read for anyone who truly feels that nothing really does matter anymore.
I have a over protected mother. I'm always grounded and i have allot of friends but she wont ever let me out of the house so eventually they stop talking to me and stop asking me to hang out. I am 13 year's old. I want my mom to stop grounding me. She doesn't respect that I have friends and I wanna go out and do fun things. Whenever I become un-grounded i get grounded again for some dumb reason. I need help on stop cursing what are some suggestions that I can do to stop. My mom is even over protected about boys .Yes I have guy friends and some of them like me more than a friend and if they say something my mom doesn't approve of she flips and they were only joking around. I need advice on how to stop getting in-trouble and try and get my mom's trust back. How can i do that? And whenever i tell her the truth about something she still thinks I’m lying. I can’t trust my mom with anything i just keep my emotions inside and don't say nothing about it. Please answer this question and give me some advice I am falling apart in my life I just feel like running away or committing suicide or something. I have anger issues and when i get really mad i flip out please answer these questions as soon as possible thanks again. Dominique
I get it-It's hard being 13 because you are starting to want more freedom and sometimes you don't see eye to eye with your parents. Thanks for reaching out for help. It's not healthy to keep your feelings inside because eventually they come out and usually not in a good way. I tell my students to imagine your body is a volcano. If you let the hurt or anger continue to build without a release, you will explode. Running away or hurting yourself may seem like solutions to end your pain, but these are unhealthy ways to cope with your problems and will actually make your problems much bigger! So, let’s think of some better ways to deal with your issues. I encourage you to start by talking to your mom about how low you're feeling. Tell her exactly what you told me.That you want to rebuild her trust. Maybe you both can create a list of things she wants you to work on and the reward can be hanging out with your friends. Compromise is key. Maybe your mom would let you have a friend she knows over to your house?
Rebuilding trust and working on your relationship with your mom takes time and effort. The more you show her over time that you respect her, the happier you both will be. It's totally worth it! It would be great if you two could spend some time together doing something fun, like cooking, taking a walk or playing a game.
Cursing is bad habit, but the good thing is that habits can be broken! It just takes practice. Try replacing the "bad word" with something less offensive or start a "swear jar". Everytime you swear, you have to put a coin in the jar. Good luck!
Running away and suicide are serious threats. Please talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, teacher or call a hotline for help.
American Suicide Survival Line #888 SUICIDE (784-2433)
Suicide Hotline #800-273-TALK
National Runaway Switchboard #800-621-4000
You have your whole life ahead of you and bright future, so focus on the positive things in your life D! :)