Second Thoughts About Sex

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Second Thoughts About Sex

Dear GZ Advisor,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost seven months. I love him with all my heart. I ended up having sex with him, because I thought he was the right one for me. Now I am having second thoughts. He has become so attached to me and sort of jealous. Even when I talk to a guy as friends. What should I do? -- Kate

Dear Kate,
You're wise to reevaluate this relationship. You need to be able to have other friends -- male and female -- without having to worry that your boyfriend is going to be jealous about it. One key factor in healthy relationships is trust. To be close to someone, you have to trust that person and know in your heart that he or she wants what's best for you.

Although you have had sex with your boyfriend, this doesn't mean you have to continue having sex with him. There are many ways of showing your feelings for him without having sex. Most teens (and even many adults for that matter) have a hard time handling the complex emotions that go along with a sexual relationship.

And since you're having second thoughts about your boyfriend it's very important that you take time to figure out what you really need and want. Maybe your relationship with your boyfriend will continue, and maybe it won't. In either case, being true to your values is what will help you to feel good about your decisions.

P. S. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about personal problems and issues that come up in your life? Maybe a parent, a friend's parent, a teacher, youth group leader, or school counselor? They can listen, offer advice, and serve as a support to you as you face choices and decisions.

GZ Advisor