Pregnant

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Pregnant

Dear GZ Advisor,
So. I'm pregnant. i just found out and i told my boyfriend, i am almost positive that i want an abortion but my boyfriend who loves me is republican and wants me to keep it. what do i do? i don't want to not consider his feelings but.. i don't want this baby. Kristen

Dear Kristen,

This is quite a predicament.  Firstly remember this; you are in a relationship with someone, but what happened is happening to YOUR body.  Both are factors to keep into consideration.

Talking about it with your boyfriend is good, you should be able to openly discuss it with one another because this is a huge thing that is occurring, for the both of you.  I'd encourage you to listen to him, and allow him to explain his reasoning for wanting to keep this child. In return; calmly explain to him your reasons for not wanting to have the child.  Evaluate what would happen if you did, and the IMMENSE impact it'd have on your lives. Do not shut him out of this process.

That being said - I think that the decision is ultimately yours to make.  It is your body, your process, your sacrifices, and as a result - your life that will be affected.  If you feel strongly that you are not ready to have this baby, then you aren't ready.  And that's your decision despite your boyfriend's disagreement.  Do what you want to do.

Make sure you consider what would happen if you decide to have the child and the relationship between the two of you doesn't work out. What then?

Finally I would suggest talking to someone.  Go to Planned Parenthood (if your boyfriend is willing, he could accompany you) and talk to someone there.  There are a lot of resources and help you can seek.  If your boyfriend is insistent on not being supportive of what you decide then you need to find someone who is because no one should have to go through this feeling alone.  Seek out your parents (if you feel comfortable enough sharing this with them), talk with a Guidance Counselor, or an older sibling who you have a solid trusting relationship with.
 
This is a very big decision but there are other options to consider such as having the baby and putting it up for adoption.  Make sure you look at all the possibilities and don't decide until you're ready.

You'll be okay, I know it's a lot to consider.  Just make sure you do what is best for you.

Sincerely,
GZ Advisor