Mother Problems

Share/Bookmark: 

Have a question about your life? About your family, friends, school? Ask other girls. You never know, or you can ask GZ Advisor. Contact me at GZAdvisor@girlzone.com. If your question is urgent please discuss with a parent, school counselor or other trusted adult. You can also visit our Resources page

Mother Problems

GZ Advisor,

My mom is very controlling. She lectures me on everything, even stupid things like how long my nails are. We never agree on anything and most conversations I try to have with her just ends up with me being yelled at. I now feel afraid to ask her questions or talk to her at all. She never tries to see things from my point of view and ignores my problems. I love her and know she gets frustrated sometimes with how I act. And well I do have some behavioral issues (I'm trying to work on them), that's no excuse for how SHE acts. It's just not fair.   Olivia

Hi Olivia,

You're not alone. Alot of girls out there have complicated relationships with their mothers. You know what is awesome about you? You love your mom, you're trying to work on your behavior and you want to make things better with her. These are the first steps. It's important for you to tell her exactly what you told me.she might not realize how you feel. I think it would so helpful if you two sat down together and had a calm discussion about what your issues are. Discuss how each others' actions have made one another feel, how things could be different and a plan of action to make it happen. Make some ground rules for the talk.you have to listen to one another and if the convo gets too heated, you both need to take a break to cool off.

We can't change other people, only ourselves, So, what changes can you make to improve your relationship? If you're too scared to say anthing, try writing mom a letter or ask a trusted adult to help you talk to her.

GZ Advisor

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

I have a over protected mother. I'm always grounded and i have allot of friends but she wont ever let me out of the house so eventually they stop talking to me and stop asking me to hang out. I am 13 year's old. I want my mom to stop grounding me. She doesn't respect that I have friends and I wanna go out and do fun things. Whenever I become un-grounded i get grounded again for some dumb reason. I need help on stop cursing what are some suggestions that I can do to stop. My mom is even over protected about boys .Yes I have guy friends and some of them like me more than a friend and if they say something my mom doesn't approve of she flips and they were only joking around. I need advice on how to stop getting in-trouble and try and get my mom's trust back. How can i do that? And whenever i tell her the truth about something she still thinks I’m lying. I can’t trust my mom with anything i just keep my emotions inside and don't say nothing about it. Please answer this question and give me some advice I am falling apart in my life I just feel like running away or committing suicide or something. I have anger issues and when i get really mad i flip out please answer these questions as soon as possible thanks again. Dominique

Hi Dominique!

 I get it-It's hard being 13 because you are starting to want more freedom and sometimes you don't see eye to eye with your parents. Thanks for reaching out for help. It's not healthy to keep your feelings inside because eventually they come out and usually not in a good way. I tell my students to imagine your body is a volcano. If you let the hurt or anger continue to build without a release, you will explode. Running away or hurting yourself may seem like solutions to end your pain, but these are unhealthy ways to cope with your problems and will actually make your problems much bigger! So, let’s think of some better ways to deal with your issues. I encourage you to start by talking to your mom about how low you're feeling. Tell her exactly what you told me.That you want to rebuild her trust. Maybe you both can create a list of things she wants you to work on and the reward can be hanging out with your friends. Compromise is key. Maybe your mom would let you have a friend she knows over to your house? 

Rebuilding trust and working on your relationship with your mom takes time and effort. The more you show her over time that you respect her, the happier you both will be. It's totally worth it! It would be great if you two could spend some time together doing something fun, like cooking, taking a walk or playing a game.  

Cursing is bad habit, but the good thing is that habits can be broken! It just takes practice. Try replacing the "bad word" with something less offensive or start a "swear jar". Everytime you swear, you have to put a coin in the jar. Good luck!

Running away and suicide are serious threats. Please talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, teacher or call a hotline for help.

American Suicide Survival Line #888 SUICIDE (784-2433)

Suicide Hotline #800-273-TALK

National Runaway Switchboard #800-621-4000

You have your whole life ahead of you and bright future, so focus on the positive things in your life D! :)

GZ Advisor