How Do You See Yourself?


So many different stories in the life of a teen girl – where to begin? Read about what is happening with other girls lives here.

How Do You See Yourself?

teen girl looking into mirror - Girl Zone

Do you worry that you're only average?

By Cinse Bonino

Answer the following question quickly. Don't think; just answer. Say the very first thing that pops into your head. Ready.... What do you like best about yourself? Were you honest? Did you say what you really think? I'm not talking about the answer that you think other people would agree with OR the answer that makes you sound humble. What do you REALLY like about yourself? What are you interested in?

It's good to be passionate about something in life. Is there something YOU can't get enough of? Maybe basketball, or drawing, or playing the piano? Some of us are SO obsessed with one thing that we barely have time to make our beds. Others of us, long for something, ANYTHING, to be really, really good at; we feel completely and utterly average.

Which kind of girl are you?


You're that girl. The one who always carries her basketball or her violin case. The one who never seems to have time for just hanging out cause you are always practicing. And if you're not practicing, you're talking about your passion non-stop.

I'm so happy for you that you've found something that you love. I'm proud of you for pursuing it AND for sticking with it. You already know that it takes a lot of hard work and practice to get good and to STAY good. But did you know that you also have to take care of the other areas in your life? I don't mean that you have to spend tons of time on activities that aren't your passion, but I want you to remember to spend time with friends that doesn't involve your passion AND to spend time with yourself doing some things just for fun.

Why? Because people who have a passion often feel less than average in the other areas of their lives. And they can have trouble relating to people who don' t share their passion. You are a very special girl. Help yourself by beginning to create a balanced life that you will enjoy forever. Cultivate a good friendship. Take good care of your body. Find things to laugh at and enjoy. And spend a little time everyday doing nothing. Trust me, these things will make you even better at what you are passionate about!

Feeling way too average??

If you're starting to feel like you'll never find something that you really love that you are also really good at doing, don't give up! First of all, the time that you are a child, a tween, and a teen is supposed to be spent exploring, experimenting, and experiencing. Sure, I know, there are those amazingly annoying people who are gifted in music or art or sports from a VERY young age. But most of us don't fall into the child prodigy category, so don't sweat it. The trick is to find something that you enjoy. Not to find something that you are good at right away. It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be good at something without learning how to do it or practicing it over and over again until it becomes as easy as breathing. The other trick is to not stress about how long it takes. Many famous people didn't become good at what they do until they were older or tried many other things first.

Relax! Enjoy your life. Try to experience as much as you can. If anything interests you at all, explore it. If you don't like it, try something else. There's nothing like finding out what you don't like to help you figure out what you DO like. Remember though, everything does take work AND practice to become really good at doing. If you aren't willing to do the work to learn a particular activity, it may not be for you, OR you just may not want to do any work! Stick with each thing you try long enough to make sure it's the specific activity you don't like and not just work in general.

Hang in there. You WILL find where your special talents and interests lie. Give yourself time. You wouldn't be upset at a puppy for not being big enough to jump up on the couch next to you. You wouldn't expect a first-grader to be able to pick out a cool outfit for a date. Growth in any area takes experience and instruction. And experience and instruction take time. Make time be on YOUR side. Enjoy this time in your life. Get a kick out of exploring many of the things that life has to offer. Be the creator of the life you want to have. Make choices that make YOU happy. If you're happy and confident, you'll like yourself better, and you'll find that others will think well of you too. Don't worry about being average; you're not. None of us are. Find out what makes you special by making choices that make you feel good about your life. Choose joy. Choose to not worry about seeming to be special. Choose instead to explore all the ways that your life can be special.