Guy Shy

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Guy Shy

Dear GZ Advisor,
Okay, here's the deal. I'm a totally outgoing person! I am completely crazy when I am with my friends. None of my friends would consider me even the slightest bit shy... but when I get around guys (especially ones I like!), I suddenly get really shy! I never know what to say, and I think that what I say will sound stupid! But this is totally not how I am with my friends.

How do I get over being so shy around guys and start acting like myself?! Please help me!!!
Signed, Girly

Dear Girly,
You may be shy around guys because you're worried about making a good impression, or because you're not seeing them as potential friends. When you work on forming friendships with guys you'll be more likely to relax and be yourself.

One way to help yourself relax is to try a simple relaxation exercise right before you're likely to be around guys. Tense all of your muscles while taking a slow, deep breath. As you relax your muscles, breathe out slowly. Do this several times, and you won't be so tense.

Another suggestion is to visualize yourself talking and having a conversation. Think about what you'd say to get started (for example asking questions about classes, a teacher, or an activity you may have in common). Once you're more comfortable in your mind, it will be easier to say that first hello.

And remember, if the guys are friendly you won't have to do all of the talking -- they'll be interested in getting to know you, too!

Good luck!
GZ Advisor