Ok see i have alot of friends and i guess my life is doing just fine but since i dyed my hair black that has changed.now im the "school gossip".that means EVERYONE is talking aobut me.even highschool.(im in junoir high).they have said im being emo or goth to other stuff.ad my guy friend that really likes me just asked me if id kiss him tomorrow at church and he has a gf.me and his gf HATE each other.he wants us to be friends but..that aint going to work so well.see me and all my frinds that dont like her either.she is controlling his life!but he wont listen to me when i tell him to break up with her.its for his own good.(see he likes to "HURT"him self over the stupidest things).so i have tried getting along with her but i just cant.so my friend that i tell everything to said that i should kiss him tomorrow and i just dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because you dyed your hair and look different on the outside does not mean anything changed on the inside. You might feel a little different, but you are still the same person. Some people judge others by their looks, but their perceptions(what they think of you) are often not true. So, be yourself, have fun with the friends who know the real you and show people who you truly are by your actions. Most importantly, don't let what others think get to you. "Don't be a replica, be an original."
Your guy friend is dating another girl, but wants to kiss you? That doesn't sound fair to his GF or you. Since you've tried telling him he is in a bad relationship and he still won't change, why not find a new boy to make you feel special. You deserve someone who likes you and only you.
Dear GZ Advisor,
So this year at my school has sucked and I don't know what to do about it. There are all these rumors going around about me and NONE of them are true but everyone still believes them! I don't know what to do! I get laughed at and called dirty things all the time and I really want to just drop school but I know I can't do that or switch schools. I have talked to my teachers and the discipline dean and they said that they have to "witness" it in order to get these boys in trouble and the boys know that so they never do anything around teachers. I just don't know what to do last month I resorted to self harm and then that got old so I stopped and now I just talk to people but there is still nothing that they can do. PLEASE HELP!!!!!
I think you are a brave girl; asking for help and not giving up shows your strength. These boys do not have the right to disrespect you like this and they certainly should not have the power to make you harm yourself. Cutting or harming yourself is never an option. You will only feel worse in the end. Remember, you do have some control in this situation, even though it might not feel like it. It is YOUR choice if you let these bullies have so much power over your emotions and actions. You said self harm "got old," but please seek the help of a professional counselor. They can help you find positive ways to cope, so you don't go back down a bad path. Communicating and healing through words, art, writing, music or sports really can help you deal. Having the support of a counselor at school could also aid you in dealing with these boys. A counselor might have some useful ideas and maybe he/she can talk with the school dean. I'm a school counselor and one of my students was being bullied. I encouraged her to stand up for herself and after she did, it really built her confidence. She had the fabulous idea to start an anti-bully club and asked me to sponsor it. Why not be the leader of his cause at your school?
Have you told your parents or guardians about this? They might need to step in and work as a team with your school administration. Also, be proactive, CSI style. :) If they want proof, print out any evidence of cyber bullying, like rude coments on facebook. Your cellphone is probably attached to you, right? You or a friend could videotape or record them in the act of bullying. Most importantly, you and your true friends know the rumors are lies. Try to focus on the good aspects of your life, instead.
You are not alone and there are people out there fighting for you. Check out this video: http://youtu.be/kU8psvxaAOc
Please keep me posted! Much love!