Confusing Dad

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Confusing Dad

Dear GZ Advisor,  My dad can be awesome. But then again he can be mean and it will feel like everything is falling apart at one. It's like therre is no happy-medium. Everything is either going great or it seems like my life is falling apart. I dont know what to do because I don't think I can handle this roller coaster anymore. How do I get my life to have some problems (everyone has them) but not overload???  Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,
I totally understand and although roller coasters can be tolerable sometimes it's time to get off. Hopefully some of these things will help you do that!

First of all I hope that you recognize that his mood swings are not your fault. It is most likely the fact that you are someone close to him so when he has a bad day or something goes wrong he projects his problems onto you by yelling and being upset.

One thing you can try to do is see if there's a common theme that is continually making him angry, like if it's always the same things that provoke him to act differently. If there are see what you can do to eliminate or minimize those things for him the best that you can.

If you can, talk to your dad about it when he's in one of his good moods. Be calm, and try to convey to him that it's hard to manage his ups and downs and you love him and want to spend time with him, and just want to help him if he's having any problems. Hopefully he'll be receptive to the fact that you care and are having a hard time dealing with his inconsistencies. He may not even recognize that he changes like that so it might open his eyes if you brought it up to him.

Another option is to bring it up to your Mom if you are comfortable enough and close enough with your Mom. Your Mom could talk to your Dad for you if you don't want to, and she could also advice you since she knows your Dad very well. She could be some good help and comfort.

I hope you can get off the roller coaster soon!

Sincerely,
GZ Advisor