Choosing how to make your decisions...
By Cinse Bonino
There is this girl at my school. She's new. She just moved here like two weeks ago. She lives with her mom and they obviously don't have much money. She's really cute and seemed really, really shy at first. Her name is Amanda. She walked around wearing funky clothes and looked like she could really use a friend. My friends and I invited her to sit with us at lunch and to walk home from school with us.
Here's the problem...
She seemed so nice at first, but now she puts people down ALL the time. She says yucky stuff about the way they look, or how they talk, and she even makes up possible stories about them. Kind of like this...
"Katie almost always gets here late; I bet there's something really WEIRD going on at her house!
What should I do?
My friends say we should just dump her, but I think that she says all this stuff cause she feels left out and unsure of herself. My HEAD agrees with my friends. But my heart says otherwise.
What would YOU do if YOU were in Cole's situation?
Lots of time It really IS difficult to know if you should follow your head OR your heart. Here are two things to consider that might help you...
Learn as you go!
Each time you make a choice to follow your head or your heart, notice how things turn out. Notice how YOU feel and also notice how the other people involved feel too.
You are NOT supposed to be an expert at life... REMEMBER that. This is the time in your life to try things out. AND the only way to learn is to pay attention, to notice what's happening. Think about what you might do differently if you are ever in a similar situation AND remember the things that worked to use another time.
But also realize as you are learning to notice the stuff that you have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over! You can start to feel pretty crazy because you truly believe you did the right thing and STILL things go kaplooie! That happens sometimes. Just concentrate on what you CAN do.
Some of the best decisions in life require you to ignore you head and follow your heart. Other times you have to force yourself to listen to your mind because your heart is telling you the wrong thing, maybe because it is full of fear or embarrassment or some other feeling like that.
But most times in life, a good choice mixes and balances your head and your heart. You'll know when you are making one of these because your heart will feel almost completely comfortable and your mind is telling you that your course of action is the best one available.
Good luck using your head and your heart.